New Year Jitters

I wrote this poem at a New Years Eve church service. It took me the entire duration of the service (2 hours) to compose it. Pretty much deals with my jitters for this new year. Have a look:

What awaits me around the corner?
Which door will I walk through?
And which will lock me out?
Where will time’s ebb and flow draw me?

The future looms dark and unknown
It beckons me to reach out and touch it
Tempting me to dive headlong into uncertainty
Driving me to take the risk and not look back

But as I gaze backwards
And see where I’ve come from
See the winding pathways and shortcuts
The potholes and speed bumps along my life’s way
My heart is filled…

Filled with nostalgia
With yearning
Filled with regret
With every other feeling
Except satisfaction or peace

Is it just me?
Or does everyone feel the same way?
That we live year in and year out
Looking for satisfaction but never finding?
Each step we take forward
Uncertain and shaky
Constantly looking back
To see if we walked right

Is this the reason for my hesitancy?

The future looms with each passing second
Dark… Unknown… A true mystery
It beckons me to move closer
But I am hesitant
The door stands before me
But my hand shakes and fails to grasp its handle
The sea calls and draws me in
But my feet freeze at the shore

Our fear of the future
Is only natural
And even now it challenges me
My resolutions unmade and undecided
The clock chimes closer and closer
To the midnight hour
My resolutions seem a distant thing

What will I change?
What will I do?
What chances will I take?
Too tempted am I to judge its end
Too quick to guess its conclusion

So for now…
I resolve to walk on
Yes, my feet are shaking
But still I will move forward
Dive headfirst into this New Year
Embracing its possibilities
Releasing all my uncertainty and fears
Unashamed
Unrequited
And with hope

[Deep Breath]

Here I go... HAPPY NEW YEAR!